Almost keeping up a schedule, Hi! I think in writing these entries i've reminded myself that getting feelings out there is VERY important, and it's had a positive effect on my mental and physical wellbeing. For starters, my writings and work on this site and LIFK have dragged me out of a small depression that I was in over the past few months. I think in hindsight that "small" hole I was pacing about in was obvious just in the tone of the site alone. Hopefully I've improved!
As you may have seen, theres a new "trackball shrine" here. I'm not totally set on where these pages dedicated to one topic should be stored, one day there will be a sitemap anywho. I'd like for there to be a change in layout for those pages too, but mentally I struggle visualizing I *want* the page to look like. I have a vibe, maybe I should take an afternoon to go website viewing. I've already come across a lot I'm quite interested in just reading over, lots of neat information / topics / images / stuff-to-put-on-this-site. Maybe I should make a page for sites I get enjoyment out of? :)
The problem is currently, focus. I recently dropped basically every form of caffeine and, either from my very old ADHD diagnosis or the constant brain torment nexus that is the Modern Internet, I cannot focus. My mind wanders and chants and sings along, my eyes rhythmically spin and dart and peep. It all keeps me up at night. Maybe need to decompress. Stare at a wall four an our or two every day. Maybe inner peace lies with meditation, or medication. Preferably not that. We'll see. Be good.
6 / 24 / 26
it's been a little bit. i've felt pretty creatively drained but i've been exploring that burnout feeling and finding ways around it. colors, for example (or i guess color theory?) has been a major player in this, and while i havent used it to make much of anything, i want to soon! i've also chipping away at this website here. adding buttons, messing with CSS, exploring other websites for ideas, i've really been trying to feel out a vibe i want for the pages. almost there i feel, i just need to find/make some art and think deeply on my interests and what to put on these pages.
sadly, i think in doing so LIFK has suffered pretty greatly. the skills i've been learning can be applied to the game, i just have been focused on nailing something here. i find HTML/CSS far easier to work with than LUA, or at least what i've cobbled together in LUA. i don't know what that makes me. is it my IDE? my coding style? have i just hit burnout? between work and re-learning my codebase every time i open it, i'm very slow to update much of anything and usually get lost trying to fix this, or update that.
i plan on making a part of this page responsible for logging my work on LIFK development to maybe trick myself into working on it more often. when that will be done and presentable, i don't know. i think i focus on polish too much.
5 / 2 / 26
today is my birthday. more importantly i updated the site over the last few days to have a little footer with a pile of leaves and some pumpkins on EVERY page. also, "screenshots" have been renamed to "scrapbook" and houses a few pieces of digital art i've made and sometimes use. theres a couple of drawing i wnated to include, but i feel they're either a bit vulgar or not noteable enough. still trying to figure out how to make the images pretty while being displayed but i like how it all looks finally! :) also rq made a responses page i PROMISE im done :o)
4 / 3 / 26
still hammering away at creative projects. mainly learning how shaders work and drawing new sprite sheets for LIFK, you can see at least one in the header image! (its the background blue) i've been thinking about writing something a lot recently. maybe something like that can go on an index here on this website, but i feel chained to LIFK. like it deserves something from that feeling too. barring that though, a friend suggested i try ren'py. i'm rather stubborn though, and i might just make something in love2d again :p
3? 4? / ? / 26 (?)
spring has sprung and whatnot, therefore i have updated the header to be slightly seasonally accurate. as accurate as i can get, really. theres bees and leaves and flowers and joy floating around outside, so i think the image is accurate!? the seasons given me inspiration however... feeling quite artsy....
a patient admitted to the emergency room with a chronic case of age
was i bred to hate? every cousin, every parent uncle aunt grandparent grand-grand parent shares a sort of self-isolation for their positive mental health, and it tears everything apart
body of life, mind stuck in concrete; the mind may not express itself
7 / 21 / 26 fixed platforms, building with a resized window and adjusted some player variables. happy with this months progress but we'll just have to see where this productivity goes in the next few weeks. i hope it stays ;-)
7 / 20 / 26 just did that im compiling it now ! :D
7 / 20 / 26 FINALLY fixed being able to resize the screen. all i have left is making a text input return a value when you hit enter and i think im ready for 0.5 ! :")
7 / 2 / 26 i worked on text input but ran into a snag with referencing the base AND button. also tried it on the new laptop but something graphics driver related is messing with love2d
6 / 24 / 26 -i need to fix the mouse pointer updating when over buttons you cant interact with
6 / ?? / 26-i need to fix the recents bar again